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People tend to form judgements based on appearance before they get to know you. If you’ve ever applied for a job, or have been on the receiving end, you know about first impressions. Unfortunately, this can happen at school too. Although teachers work hard to not have a favorite, it happens. How can you help your child when they are not the teacher’s pet?

I have three daughters with very different personalities. My oldest is very quiet and shy, and is a hard working student. My second oldest is the social butterfly and often gets in trouble for talking too much. My youngest likes to talk your ear off. She wants to point out all the obvious things that are happening around you.

When your child isn’t the teacher’s favorite, but complains about the kids that are on this list, don’t let it upset you. First, talk to your child and find out where their information is coming from. It might be something they have noticed in class. They might have overheard some other kids talking about it.

Explain to your child that everyone has different personalities, and some people get along easier with others. Just because you see a child laughing with the teacher doesn’t mean that this child is the teacher’s favorite. And if the teacher calls on the same students to help all the time, it might just be because he or she knows that the student is willing to help.

If your child wants to interact more with the teacher, encourage them. If they are shy and not usually outgoing, give them ideas of things they can talk to their teacher about. Explain that it isn’t important to be popular but getting along better with their teacher is a good goal.